Satire-10-29

Experiences in 151 as told by Fred Fresh, ‘18

Through a sudden time anomaly caused by the particle accelerator under Kafadar, “The Oredigger” was able to interview a freshman taking EPICS 151 during the Fall of 2014. The results were somewhat shocking. In the future, there is a shortage of cookies on campus since only 20% of the Mines population has the skillset needed to produce cookies. As a result, the Fall 2014 semester of EPICS 151 is a course on cookie design. The following is a transcript of an interview with the exasperated student, as the stress of designing cookies caused him to monologue for several minutes. “The Oredigger” was unable to get a word in edgewise.

“I don’t like EPICS. Our project is irrelevant to my major, since I am in Economics and people told me I won’t be sad in my time at this school. But it’s a class we gotta take, I guess.

Our team seems good so far. One guy is really good at Solidworks, one girl is a good sketcher (although a terrible baker), and another guy has baked cookies before. So we got experience. I am left with the role of the writer, which shouldn’t be too bad because I don’t hate writing as much as a lot of people, even though my Prof. says I need work on oral communication, but what can you do? I’m sorry that I’m rambling…

Anyway, we have done significant hours researching how to make and market these cookies. We went and asked a few Chemical Engineering majors since we thought they might understand some processes that go into baking cookies, but all they knew was how to brew beer. But, after looking on Wikipedia, I think we know how cookies are generally made, and we found a scientific article in the “Cooking Corner” archives that we cited in our report.

We chose the chocolate chip design for our cookie project. We felt it was a well-liked variety and the materials to produce it are not too numerous. Our client is based in Antarctica, where there are not many cookies. We are told that the winner will get to go and bake there, but we don’t know if we want to win because it’s so much work to present and produce more cookies, especially in Antarctica.

I suppose we’ve learned a lot though. Kitchen safety was my favorite Friday workshop. But our team has collectively gained 5 pounds and I need to run an analysis of the costs this is putting on our team, weight gain included. We have invested much of our own money into prototype experiments and our unprocessed dough has been disappearing, as I think my roommate has been eating it.

My subsystem being the dry ingredients. I’m really stressed out for the Subsystem Analysis coming up soon. I must make three sketches or Solidworks drawings to add to the portfolio. And probably rewrite everyone else’s subsystem report.



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