Grinds My Gears: Colorado Mills

You know what really grinds my gears?

The lack of vigor with which the new area around Colorado Mills is being developed. Officially titled the “Promenade at Denver West,” this area already has a Mediterranean Chipotle called Garbanzo, and a Panera Bread. However, the best may be yet to come. According to the Denver Post, there is a Chick-fil-A, Carrabba’s Italian Grill, Five Guys, Café Rio, and even a Pacific Dental on the way. However, I have done some very advanced military-style reconnaissance on the area and cannot determine where the Chick-fil-A or Café Rio will go.

As a current senior, I have been waiting on seeing these trans fat-saturated, calorie rich, 100% American fast food chains come to this area, and now I am afraid I will never get to relish basking in their fried aura. Evidently these developers do not realize how necessary it is to build these renowned chains with a sense of urgency. Furthermore, if one goes to the Chick-fil-A website, it does not even list a Colorado location as “Coming Soon” and it has dates all the way out through March booked. I am seriously disappointed. It takes 2 Chainz about a day to drop a track, it took Cezanne one year to paint a $300 million painting, and it took Neil Armstrong and the rest of the Apollo 11 crew about four days to get from Florida to the Moon, yet getting a Chick-fil-A built in the span of a school year is too difficult for some people.

Finally, where did all the snow go? I realize that winter, through the cold, brings a dreary and depressing atmosphere to our study-centered culture, but I never wanted there to be no snow. There is usually about seven inches of total snowfall during the month of January, but since we have started our second semester, I cannot remember seeing anything other than a couple of flakes or a light dusting. Mother Nature is probably on strike against Denver due to a combination of the cancelling of Jersey Shore and Tim Tebow being traded to the Jets. However, the world keeps turning, and Mother Nature will soon get over our gaffes and the snow will hopefully start falling once again.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is what grinds my gears.