The best and the worst of Career Day pens 2014

Industry jobs are all roughly equivalent. You trade in your hours for a handful of dimes, until middle age set in and you are left wondering just what exactly you did with the best years of your life. Therefore, when you go to visit the CSM All-Mining All-Drilling All-Dancing Career Fair © ® ™, you should choose which companies to visit based on the only metric that really matters: who gives away the best pen?

Ink Pens

Good Pens:
ASARCO Grupo Mexico
California Steel Industries Inc.
Solvay (Special award for pen ergonomics)
Range Resources
Paterson & Cooke (Judges special award for writing quality)
CUDD Energy Services (Combo highlighter!)
Black & Veatch
Ricoh
Applied Control
Packers Plus (4-color)

“Meh” Pens:
Haliburton
Coeur Mining
Suncor Energy
Ellwood Crankshaft Group
Tenova
Bill Barrett Corp.
Audobon
Comcast/NBC Universal
Severstal (several equivalent entrants)
Vishay Dale Electronics
ArchCoal
Lehigh Hanson
PDC Energy
NUCOR Steel
CUDD Energy Services (Plain Click Pen)

Fracking Terrible Pens:
Halker Consulting LLC
Natural Soda

Tablet Styli

The Good:
Hunt
Gyro/data (Special award for ergonomics)
Newfield
Proctor & Gamble (With flashlight!)

The Meh:
Range Resources (Excellent storage clip)

The Deeply Embarrassing:
Allegion
Stillwater Mining Co
Fluor
NUCOR Steel

Mechanical Pencils
They’re all bad, call it a day and head to GCB instead.