Ask Nick: The Know-All Freshman (3/29/16)

I’ve been having trouble lately with my new velcro strap shoes. I only ever learned how to tie knots with laces, and tying velcro straps is rather difficult. Any help?

Yes, a classic case of new shoes. Recently, I got a pair of blue shoes, and lemme tell ya, they’re tricky. To start tying my shoes, I first take out the laces entirely, so that I can see what I’m doing before I put my foot in the shoe. The next step is to pour out a few bottles of superglue (quickly) into the bottom of the shoe to make sure nothing is moving around. I put my foot into the shoe, and take an auxillary picture of the set up so I don’t forget how to do this the next time. Then I wrap the shoelaces around my ankles because fun fact, they’re accessories. That’s how I put my shoes on each morning.

Velcro shoes are the highest tech shoes in current society, so be very careful as you follow these instructions. With your velcro shoes, my procedure may need to be modified to fit your need, but it should still work, so we’ll just go through this step-by-step. You’ll need to grab a pair of household scissors and cut off the velcro straps. This will allow you to see what you’re doing. Since velcro shoes tend to be bulkier, you may need to cut additional slits along the shoe in the general toe region; in fact, I would recommend this. Next, to make sure nothing is moving around, you will want to put an adhesive in the bottom of the shoe. Superglue will be too simple, but I think duct tape will work just fine. Tape the tongue of the shoe to the top of your foot as you slip into the shoe, and note that you won’t be able to wear socks. This is a fact not advertised by the velcro shoe company to expand their customer base. Now that everything is secure, tape the velcro straps at the ankle of the shoe and point them upward and outward from the shoe. If your shoes look like the winged shoes of the greek god Hermes, you have succeeded. If your shoes look like crocs, know that you did this to yourself. I hope I could be of help.

(Special thanks to Andrew Bocker for this question)

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