Push team wins again

The Orecart Push army has once again dealt a stunning victory against the Pull army, continuing a run of over a decade. Fans exist for both sides. Pull supporters claim that even though the Push team tends to field superior numbers, Pullers tend to have more motivation and are, on average, more physically fit. Still, it seems that for now, the Pushers are so numerous that they quickly overwhelm their opponents, and this trend appears to show no signs of stopping.

For those unfamiliar with the tradition, the Push-Pull battle begins when the orecart reaches the capital and those behind the cart (Pushers) are separated from those in front (Pullers). A bloody free-for-all of thematic combat ensues. This year, the battle was fought in full pirate regalia with scimitars and daggers. However, any fighting style is permissible as long as the deviants are not caught; many suspect that a student dressed up as a ninja made several hits with throwing stars.

The battle pauses when one team surrenders, at which point the governor may give a thumbs-up or a thumbs-down to indicate whether the fight should continue. This year, the Pullers were quick to admit defeat, but Hickenlooper found this outcome boring and commanded that the fight continue. This was repeated twice before he was satisfied, and a great cheer rose from the crowd at the conclusion of the battle. The losing team, as per tradition, was required to purchase extra burritos to fill out the inevitable shortage, and carried the victors back to campus on sedan chairs while they, themselves, were forced to wait four hours for the buses to arrive.

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