Ginds my Gears: Lil Wayne

In recent years, no one has gone downhill as much as Weezy. Back in 2005, Tha Carter II was hot. With a hit like “Fireman,” it seemed as if Weezy could not have been stopped. Then came Tha Carter III, the icing on the cake. With tracks like “Mr. Carter,” “Mrs. Officer,” “A Milli” and of course, “Lollipop.” Weezy was on the top of the list and was never coming down.

Or was he? Wayne’s lyrics started to take a downturn in Tha Carter III. For example, in “Mrs. Officer,” when speaking with a hypothetical female law enforcement professional, Wayne says, “I said lady what’s your number she said 911 [insert drunken, drug-infused cackle here].” Now, the mark of all bad comedians is when they start laughing at their own jokes, and Weezy has started down that path. Furthermore, half of that very song is “wee ooh wee ooh wee (3x), like a cop car.” When you start inserting sound effects in place of rapping, you are just trying to produce a song rather than spit hot fire. Despite the shortfalls of “Mrs. Officer” though, this album was actually decent and received much praise.

However, in August 2011, the long awaited, and much postponed Tha Carter IV was released and for all you Lil Tunechi fans out there, I’m sorry. This album is abysmal. The only semi-decent song on the entire CD is “6 Foot 7 Foot;” and it was released before the album even came out. Sure, the album has sold over one million copies, but the only thing fueling the Weezy fire is hype. His album is like the Shake Weight, people are buying it in massive quantities, but nobody can point to why. Also, for anybody out there who has attempted to listen, in its entirety, to “How to Love” without turning the radio off, my hat is off to you. If Rebecca Black and William Hung had a child, and that child had laryngitis, it would still be more harmonious than Weezy trying to sing.

Something must have happened in between Tha Carter III in 2008, and Tha Carter IV in 2011. All research has pointed to one thing – the 8 months he spent behind bars in 2010. There are many things that could have happened to our beloved Lil Wayne in prison. Maybe he was beaten in a rap battle by a warden, maybe he was picked last in playground basketball, or perhaps the month long solitary confinement sentence he got served for having contraband headphones was just too much for Wayne to handle. Either way, it is apparent that if Wayne could not cope after a few months in the slammer, he definitely could not handle it on the streets of Golden. We go hard in the paint, and Lil Tunechi just cannot keep up anymore.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is what grinds my gears.

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