Grinds my Gears: Wind

You know what really grinds my gears?
The wind.

When it’s not blowing the weed smell from Boulder, the smog from Denver, or smoke from a wildfire, it’s busy blowing me around. Chicago claims that it is the windy city, but I would venture to say that it is Golden. There are numerous canyons that seem to funnel the wind right to wherever I am. At my dwelling, my windows can be completely closed, and when the wind reaches its peak velocity, my blinds actually move with gusts. This is truly ridiculous. The only people that actually benefit from the mighty rushing wind are those parasailers that launch off of Lookout Mountain. Heck, even they sometimes get negatively impacted. I have seen one over by Colorado Mills and one about a mile north on Highway 93, both on their cell phones calling for one of their buddies to come pick them up. The unpredictable wind had obviously taken them far away from their preferred landing zone.

People say that the wind is mysterious, or to listen to the wind blow. I say stop it. All it does is sandblast my car in the dirt lot, and dry out the land so we can’t have fireworks. How can we stop it you ask? It’s simple. Loosely according to the Bernoulli principle, there must be a higher pressure somewhere and a lower pressure somewhere for the wind to blow. Thus the flatlands to the east of us need to stop forming tornadoes in low pressure systems, and California needs to stop being so full of hot air. A social fix to a meteorological problem.

You know what else grind my gears?

The Broncos’ coaching staff.
I’m sure that many people will disagree with this, but why did Tebow have to go? He won games. Sure he got killed in his most recent one but who hasn’t had a tough loss? That final tick in the loss column just left a bad taste in the coaching staff’s mouth and they decided that a new quarterback was the purple pill to their acid reflux. Know why? Because John Elway was getting angry that the public loved Tebow more than they loved him. I’m not saying that Tebow was the answer to a Super Bowl. I’m just saying that he didn’t have to go. For an offense driving inside the 10 yard line, few quarterbacks outside of Tebow will lower their shoulders and dive for a touchdown. Let’s just face it, Manning may be skilled, but he’s old. Thus, when the quarterback needs to take a hit, send Tebow in, otherwise let Manning place the ball where it needs to go. A win-win situation for everybody involved, but Elway’s ego got in the way and now Tebow is off to New York to team up with Jeremy Lin and start a New York sports dynasty.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is what grinds my gears.

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