Grinds my Gears: Denver International Airport

You know what really grinds my gears?
The Denver International Airport

The first problem with the place is that it is so far away. Why, when you can get to downtown Denver in about 20 minutes, does it take the better part of 50 to get to the airport? Also, why could they not build it directly off of I-70? Instead, when you think you’re there, there is another 15 minute drive ahead of you, which is essentially a speed trap to raise money for the airport. It is rumored that some dishonest business and political deals went down to determine the location of DIA, inconveniencing millions of Coloradans in the process. There are numerous other open space locations where an airport could have been built (between Golden and Boulder, on top of North Table Mountain, etc.), but they just had to add an hour to everybody’s travel time by putting an airport halfway to Kansas.

Second, Denver is a historically snowy city. So it makes no sense that the airport is more or less a permanent tent in the snowy winter wilderness. We were all taught in first grade that heat rises and cold air sinks, so enlighten me as to why the primary barrier between the snowy outside and the warm inside is a glorified tarp. The architects probably took design and energy efficiency tips from the Snooki School of Science.

Finally, we come to the whole train system in place. This system not only adds unnecessary minutes to the last-minute traveler’s time, but it also is just a plain inconvenience. There are numerous conspiracy theories as to why the train system exists. Some believe that when the end of the world comes, that the DIA caverns will be used as a safety shelter for the ultra rich and the wealthy. Others believe that the trains were just installed to try and make it easy for DIA to expand. Google DIA conspiracy theories and you’ll see some mildly convincing evidence that DIA is a disguised Armageddon shelter. Either way you look at it, there’s no actually legitimate reason for it to exist.

Ultimately, when the City of Denver started the building of DIA around 1990, they had the potential to build a vibrant metropolitan airport that would serve the public and allow people to easily and quickly reach downtown, the neighborhoods, and the ski areas. But instead they screwed up.

And that, Ladies and gentlemen, is what grinds my gears.

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