Grinds my gears: The NHL

You know what really grinds my gears?
The National Hockey League.

First, it is hardly national. According to quanthockey.com, over 50% of the players in the NHL are from Canada. In fact, only 22% of the players in the United States National Hockey League are United States citizens. Now, I realize that it is not completely national. Out of the thirty teams in the NHL, nearly 25% of the teams are from the desolate, ever-winter country to the north. Furthermore, if you look at America’s other national sports leagues—the NBA, NFL, and MLB, they all represent solid, 100% American sports. The NHL, however, caters more to Canada, where grass is as exotic as an educated person on MTV.

Second, the hockey players are all greedy. Since 1990, there have been 4 NHL strikes or lockouts between the players and the owners. The most recent disagreement resulted in the loss of almost half of the current season, and more importantly, millions and millions of lost revenue. Evidently some people don’t understand that if you do not work, negotiating about how much people get paid is worthless. It’s like the Baker’s Union and Hostess. If the employees (or players) keep fighting about pay, there may not be a job to come back to.

I realize where I am. In Colorado, there are many die-hard Avalanche fans and children that grew up where hockey was just as significant in their life as Pokémon cards. However, just because it is cold here for a few months of the year, does not mean we need to subscribe to the Canadian way of life. When it gets hot here in the summer, you don’t see a lot of people walking around in dreadlocks claiming that “Everything’s gonna be alright, mon.” Hockey is ultimately an un-American sport, filled with greedy and angry Canadians, and for some reason we give them prime-time television spots when nothing interesting is happening. In a recent Golden-based poll of one person, it was determined that 100% of people would rather take CSM-101 again as opposed to watching a season of hockey. It is hard to argue with the facts.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is what grinds my gears.