Grinds My Gears: Hipsters

I am currently writing this from a coffee shop (the Mecca of hipsters) in Beaver Creek and the percentage of people wearing eyeglasses in here far exceeds the percentage of the population with impaired vision. I have no qualms if you need glasses to see. They are truly a wonderful invention and their application as a tool to aid people should be celebrated. However, if you’re pulling a Lebron James and wearing the glasses just for style points, then it’s unnecessary. If the lenses in your frames do not enhance your eyesight, then it is completely unnecessary. It would be akin to walking around with crutches because you think it supplements your artistic self-expression. While that may be true in your head, to the rest of us, it doesn’t make sense.

Furthermore, the hipster ideology of “I liked _______ before _______ was cool,” is completely unwarranted. Usually there is a reason why nobody has heard of that indie band with that kid you knew from middle school—they are horrible. As a result, promoting their upcoming open-mic show on your Facebook page makes you appear disconnected from the rest of society.

Finally, the rest of the nation would sincerely appreciate it if hipsters (guys especially) would quit wearing skinny jeans. Not only does this “style” choice make the subscribers uncomfortable, it generally makes people look ridiculous. Justin Bieber, teenage girl heartthrob and one of the highest followed artists on YouTube and Twitter, displays this perfectly. Bieber has always looked a little funky, but he was 17 and looked 10, so society overlooked it. Now, as he’s getting older, his hipster fashion makes him closer resemble a circus clown than any style aficionado.

Ultimately, the hipster movement will not go anywhere. People will always be trying to impress their friends by trying to predict the next big thing. However, the faux glasses and skinny jeans will hopefully evaporate faster than Carly Rae Jepsen’s fame. These are all one-hit-wonders and ideally, they will never make it around again.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is what grinds my gears.

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