Campus Rumors: Does Chuck Stone wear pants?

Physicists across the country work to solve the mysteries of the universe. The physics faculty and graduate students and Colorado School of Mines are no different. They strive to answer mysteries and questions such as: “What is dark matter? Are the branching ratios of the Higgs Boson consistent with the standard model? Is the proton a fundamentally stable particle or does it have a finite lifetime as predicted by some extensions to the standard model?” However, probably the single most asked question in the physics department is, “Does Chuck Stone wear pants?”

As a physics professor who has taught both Physics I and Physics II, Chuck Stone is one of the most well-known professors at Colorado School of Mines, but few people if any have ever seen him wear pants. “The Oredigger” decided to take up the investigation and interviewed Stone himself to figure out the truth.

When asked whether or not he ever wore pants, Stone recalled the last time he had to wear pants. He said, “On Sunday February 17th there was a big luncheon with these students who had a really prestigious scholarship here at this school, the Boettcher foundation scholarship. I got invited to the luncheon, me the president, a few others, and the Boettcher Scholars. I was told ‘This is a formal affair, you better be there’ so I wore long pants to that. And then that following Saturday I had to help the physics department with Discover Mines, and my department head Tom Furtalk said ‘and by the way I heard you wore long pants to the president’s luncheon, so you have to wear long pants to my event.’ “

When asked about why he is never seen wearing pants on ordinary days throughout the semester, Stone explained, “You don’t realize what you’re missing when you wrap yourself up in a car and you’re not walking or riding your bike or just enjoying the little commute. For me it’s just so much easier, more comfortable, more convenient and more appropriate.”

“You know if you are going to run to campus, put on the shorts. If you are going to ride the bike, put on the shorts.” Stone explained his prefered mode of transportation was such because he prefers an active lifestyle and wants to reduce his carbon footprint. It should be noted that Stone lives about six miles away from campus. Now knowing that Stone commutes without a car to campus one would wonder what Stone does in cold weather. But his response to this question was, “The thing of it is, if you’re moving, you stay warm.”

Now everyone can sleep in peace knowing the truth about Stone’s pants.