Hordes of Unknown Entities Once Again Descend Upon Campus

Just as has happened for the past few decades, these past few weeks have been marked by strange visitors on campus. Reports from the field indicate that these strange beings appear to be happy and enthusiastic for the future and are often surrounded by other individuals who are equally or even more excited for the future than the focal entity. Each of these packs are lead by a chipper guide creature.

While attempts to determine the exact nature of these visits have failed, those who have spent many years observing this event have come to the conclusion that they are either interdimensional beings who appear to be excited for the prospect of four or more years of arduous torture, or they are simply figments of the campus’ imagination, echoing back to a time where time was not spent aimlessly staring at computer screens and graphing calculators.

Since very little is known about these creatures, it is recommended that students do their best to avoid them as they have been known to bring back memories of failed ambitions and hopes of the future.

It is not certain if these creatures have any relation to the much more mature creatures who appear out of the wood-work around the first home football game in the fall, promising bright futures full of green pieces of paper, but recent studies think it may all be some form of divine torture.

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