Heiland Lecture Renamed Following Pot Ruling
In honor of the legalization of marijuana in the state of Colorado, the name of the weekly Geophysics departmental lecture is being officially changed from Heiland to High Land lecture. The university president has assured the public that this is not meant to reflect the local elevation of Golden (about six thousand feet above sea level, which is fairly high in and of itself) but is rather a way to honor the new law, which President Scoggins has called “a truly groundbreaking piece of legislation” about which he is “totally stoked”. A renaming ceremony is planned for April 20th, in which students are invited to gather at the Green Center with their smoking paraphernalia and enjoy brownies, chips, and various other “munchies” with the president and Geophysics faculty. Attendees of the seminar will be allowed to smoke during the hour-long talk, a controversial decision.