Recipe for the Perfect Engineer

The majority of the students at Colorado School of Mines, are here to become engineers. Anyone who wishes to do not only that but also become the perfect engineer, simply has to follow these steps, be sure not to leave any ingredients out.


Mild to severe exhaustion
Copious amounts of stress
Lots of homework
Complete lack of desire to be productive
One pounding headache
More coffee than one person should consume
Looming Deadlines

1. Get lots of homework and mix it with a complete lack of desire to be productive. Once these are thoroughly mixed, add looming deadlines.
2. Once the looming deadlines have been fully integrated into the mixture, add copious amounts of stress and stir well.
3. In a separate bowl, add mild to severe exhaustion (level of exhaustion is to each cook’s preference) and more coffee than one person should consume. When there is a slight buzzing, add one pounding headache and stir well.
4. Combine the two bowls of ingredients and mix well.
5. The mixture is complete when the homework is still slightly visible but is mostly hidden under extreme stress and too much coffee.
6. Place mixture at Colorado School of Mines and leave for roughly 4 years or until batter has given up on life completely.

Be sure to not include any free time. If there is any free time in the mixing bowl, the recipe won’t turn out right.

Now, all there is left to do is take the perfect engineer and try and motivate it. Good luck. At this stage all motivation should have completely baked off.

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