Slate gives free cooking classes to graduating seniors

New graduates are not known for their chef skills, often ordering pizza every day and sometimes combining leftovers that do not combine well into one dish. Thankfully, Slate Café has been offering the chance of a lifetime the past week to seniors expected to graduate in May. Students who will be grad students are not welcome as voted on by student government and are instead offered a two-week course called “Scavenging”. GSG was fine with the ruling (as they are with most rulings) and said, “Ain’t nobody got time for [cooking].”

The free cooking classes have been a huge success thus far, with seniors learning how to make favorites such as omelets and paninis. They are even learning how to make homemade chocolate milk. How generous of Slate to make sure these students will be able to eat, as a meager engineering salary requires frugalness, and students are already burnt out on ramen.

Said one senior, “In all my life I never thought I’d be able to accomplish so much at Colorado School of Mines. First my degree, now gourmet cooking! I can probably drop out now and get my own cooking show. My grandma will be so proud.”

Due to these free classes, along with senioritis, many CSM seniors are expected to drop out, but administration knows they will be okay since they now know how to feed themselves. However, the number of students will not decline in the long run. Due to the huge success of Slate’s classes, Mines is in the process of getting a Culinary Arts degree program added to the bulletin. Said one admin, “We want to eventually compete with Johnson and Wales University as the best food college in the state.”

In the meantime, Mines graduates will continue to be the best gift to the world as not only amazing, smart, and good-looking engineers, but also as the premier cooks of the west.

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