Art Review: ‘The Egg’ a Timeless Masterpiece

Easter eggs are a long-standing spring tradition, but have never been given their due as true pieces of modern art. All that is about to change, due to one exceptional artist. His years of practice in egg design have led to the ultimate Easter egg experience, one all art enthusiasts should share and appreciate.

Easter egg master Thomas Good has been decorating eggs since the early 1960s. “No one’s ever appreciated my talents before, though,” he said. “My dad supported me, but I think he was kind of scared of his own artistic talents being challenged, so we connected over baseball instead.” In fact, hard as it now is to believe, none of Good’s elementary school art teachers even believed his talent lay in their field.

Without needed support at an early age, Good was forced to pursue his other ambition, law. Though he hoped he would eventually be able to affect a career shift, the opportunity never arose. However, Good never quit practicing. “Every year, I make the most beautiful egg in all the world,” he said.

All these years of practice have finally paid off, though, in this year’s “most beautiful egg in all the world,” definitively entitled “The Egg.” “The Egg” has a unique orange-green-brown coloration and is perfectly egg-shaped and hard-boiled. It is innovatively displayed on a saucer with a fruit pattern, and the juxtaposition of the masculine egg surface with the feminine design of fine china is a subversive contrast. The aesthetic value of “The Egg” cannot be overstated; it is truly a work of art. Indeed, it is so beautiful that further words of description fail this reviewer. Nothing more can be said that has not already been said in artist’s own words, “It is the most beautiful egg in all the world.”

Good is understandably cautious about revealing his secrets, but he agreed to give “The Oredigger” an exclusive description of the process. “First, I have to do a ceremonial dance. The whole family forms a conga line, and we sing ‘Hiya, hiya, hiya, EGG! Hiya, hiya, hiya, EGG!'” Then, Good spends a few moments in quiet concentration, preparing himself for the great task that lies before him.

“After I feel like I’m ready,” Good said, “I go to the egg I picked out before we started dying eggs. Then, I take the egg dipper and put in the first color.” Good refused to reveal the order he places the egg into its colors, but was willing to reveal that the six colors he uses are orange, yellow, green, blue, and a purple one he insists on calling violet. “After it has enough of the first color, I take it out and put it in the next color. I repeat this until ‘The Egg’ has been in all the colors. Then, and only then, is it the most beautiful egg in all the world.”

Good’s strictly controlled strategy is the result of years of practice. “I’ve been creating ‘The Egg’ almost as long as I’ve been picking NCAA brackets,” he said. Luckily, unlike his perennially losing brackets, his egg decorating is perennial success.

Copyright © 2020 The Oredigger Newspaper. All Rights Reserved.