Famed actor Sylvester Stallone, known for his masculine roles such as Rocky and Rambo, changed the game this week when he announced he was quitting the film industry to become a female pop-star. When questioned about his motives for the change Stallone said, “I was tired of people taking me seriously and wanted to change so I could goof around all the time like Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears. If I decide to shave my head spur of the moment or get arrested for being on drugs, I would much rather be a pop star because my actions would be forgiven.” The actor also proudly announced that from this day forth he shall be known simply as Stella, aka the actor formerly known as Sly.
This sudden career move was made possible by Dr. Dat Long who made Stallone’s body strangely resemble the body of Cher. Long could not be reached for comment as he was too busy giving Pamela Anderson breast reduction surgery. For his miraculous achievements with Stallone’s body, Long won the Trinidad Soctor of Excellence award, in the category of making old actors look like sexy women. Plus for making her “sexy again” Stella gave Long a rather large bonus, in the form of a Caribbean mansion.
When questioned about her new career in music, Stella said that her first album should drop sometime next year with the first single being released later this month. The title of said single is rumored to be, “Boobies, I got em’ now!” Stella also spoke of a possible guest appearance on Kesha’s next album. When Stella was questioned about how this change has affected her personal life, she said that it has not really affected her life other than the fact that she goes to the mall a lot more often and crashes her car on a regular basis.
Overall, the career move seems to be working forStella and it could be just the thing that she needs to revitalize her career. Her net worth has increased since and she has been offered multiple million dollar recording contracts. In the end, this radical change should work out for Stella by giving her a fulfilling career well into the future.