Grinds my Gears: Small portions

You know what really grinds my gears?
Small Portions at nice restaurants.

You are out for a night on the town and have a great rager to go to. You intend to start off the evening with a nice dinner at a fancy restaurant. On the menu, lobster ravioli attracts your eye. Hungry and eager for food to start off a good night, you order it. When it comes out, however, four tiny squares greet you. Is this a meal you wonder to yourself? Why did I spend all this money and not receive enough food to fuel my night of partying? Why is there an inverse relationship between the amount of money you spend and the amount of food you get?

Well, America, let me tell you — it’s the French. These self-proclaimed masters of culinary excellence are really just people that enjoy making money off of charging you for what amounts to one ounce of ground beef garnished with a couple of leaves from their back yard. No wonder the name “Freedom Fries” is gaining popularity from Long Island to Long Beach; the French are leaving Americans hungry from coast to coast.

As a result, hungry Americans are resorting to unhealthy options like McDonalds and Taco Bell to simply get the caloric value required to exist. Though often delicious, these are leading to a growing obesity epidemic. Watch out America, the French are just trying to fatten us up. Then, when we are too tired and lazy to fight them off, they will invade and we will all be stuck watching Pepé Le Pew instead of Sylvester and Tweety, and playing soccer instead of football or baseball. The British had the Beatles, the Italians- Jersey Shore, the Japanese- Tokyo Drift, the Mexicans- Salma Hayek, and now the French want their cut of the American market.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is what grinds my gears.