By McKenna Larson
This is a direct response to the terribly social E-Days schedule created by the school. Stay inside without having to sacrifice the events of the weekend. All events take place in/around your own home, no tickets or reservations are required, and other humans are completely optional.
Thursday, April 21st
Activities with no frats needed:
- Eat a pot of boxed mac and cheese, the only thing you need to decide is fork or spoon
- The Amazing Race: Turning the lights off and running into bed before a monster gets you. Make sure to gather all snacks before attempting this dangerous maneuver
- Once you have successfully made it into bed, watch some YouTube. You earned it.
6:30pm: Doom scroll on TikTok. No comedian can compete with the algorithm
8pm-11pm: An actual silent disco. No music, no dancing, no people. Just a dark room alone
Friday, April 22nd
7:30am: stay asleep, who wakes up this early?
12pm: get up if you feel like it
2:30pm: Field Day. Sit in a field and look at lovely flowers and bugs. Don’t forget the allergy meds and sunscreen
7pm: Play Super Smash Bro’s or whatever video game you want, it’s your E-days don’t let the masses tell you what to play
Also 7pm: Turn off all the lights, turn up some EDM and listen to some kick-ass bass drops surrounded by the glow of your videogame
Saturday, April 23rd
8am-Probably the middle of the night: Mining Games aka Minecraft. You will need at least one hour for this, but who are we kidding, it’s an all-day activity.
9am: Sit in a cardboard box like a cat. If you want to make it a boat, like the extroverts, just be a sailor cat
10am: Play with some old Hot Wheels cars. Who needs to see the real thing? All cars look the same anyway. An alternative is to drive past the car show on your way to restock on snacks for the rest of the day’s festivities
12pm: Do whatever hobby/hobbies would make you as happy as a carnival would make an extrovert.
2pm: Take a nap. How can anyone do this much in a day without getting sleepy?
7pm: put any generic indie pop music on and you’ll get the same vibe as a concert goer while still getting to play Minecraft or sit in your cardboard boat.
9:15pm: watch the fireworks from a safe distance. Or get some glowsticks and throw them around, same vibe without having to risk human interaction
Sunday, April 24th
This has been a full weekend already. Rest up after all these events and treat yourself to a donut
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