Geek of the Week: Christine Geier, Sophomore, Physics

It’s hard to deny that everybody at Mines is at least little bit crazy. Some geeks have learned to hide their nuttiness well. Others have learned to embrace their insanity and have fun with it. Nobody is quite sure which camp Christine Geier falls into, since no one can seem to get her to give a straight answer to any Rorschach tests. Regardless of her reactions to ink blots, Geier sat down with “The Oredigger” for a few moments as this week’s Geek of the Week.

[Oredigger]: Why did you chose Physics?
[Geier]: I knew since sophomore year of high school that I wanted to do Physics. I don’t know why. I just like it. I like how it fizzes and everything sparkles with Physics magic. It kinda glistens.

What has been your favorite class?
[It] would certainly, probably be Swimming. I like to pretend I’m a squid. [The] only problem is squids don’t do freestyle or that god-awful butterfly. I visualize myself as an orange squid, by the way, not a purple or blue one.

Are you a geek and why?
No, I’m a nerd! A nerd and darn proud of it. A good old-fashioned American nerd. I’m white and nerdy. For high school, I didn’t get a class ring, so I made one myself. [It measured] 2010 ohms and blue, so it was kinda school colors. I do a lot of nerdy things… and my mother says I have no common sense—and I have a lab coat! That’s why I’m a nerd.

How do you spend your non-scholastic moments?
I play video games and I cook. One time, I made black bean brownies. They were special brownies, but only because they had black beans in them. [I also spend time] shenaniganizing and snowboarding. Oh, and Mine Rescue.

What are some of your greatest accomplishments thus far?
Putting together my IKEA bed. That was pretty much the triumph of the century.

How would you fight a giant mutant insect?’
Plasma rifle. Easy choice. Like that special one you find in “Fallout: New Vegas.” As a backup, I’d go with flamethrower. Also, I’d wear a turtleneck and a lab coat because Archer wears a turtleneck and lab coat.

If you could be dropped into any fictional setting, what would it be and why?
“Star Wars!” Easy. I’d be a Jedi knight just because they’re cool. Ewan McGregor’s a bad-lookin’ fella. Especially without a beard.

What is your favorite part about Mines?
The general nerd atmosphere that seeps into your blood, even though it’s already there, but it keeps seeping. And then it [becomes] what you eat and breathe. It’s where you finally fit in. You know that awkward penguin meme? Yeah, I think that encompasses it. And there’s none of that liberal arts baloney.

If an electron is fired through a slit in a forest but no one is around to observe it, does it make an unusual pattern?
Yes. Definite yes.

Which would you rather have, the ability to dual-wield portal and gravity guns or a wizard’s staff and wand?
Oooh… wand and staff because I love Harry Potter. I love Portal too though, so I’ll make my own portal and gravity guns with the wands. Then I’d make combustible lemons.

What is your least favorite thing at Mines?
Homework. The never-ending homework that crushes you \and makes it so you can’t even breathe. [It’s] the kind of pressure that makes you want to curl up in the fetal position with a teddy bear and cry. My goal is to make it to graduation without gray hair.

What is your best recent nerd moment?
Probably this morning when I was making my latte and I was thinking about thermodynamics. I do that a lot actually. My professor wasn’t lying when he said we’d have thermo withdrawals after that class.

Do you have any plans for the future?
Nope. Okay, yes. I want to go snowboarding with a parachute, jump off this big cliff, pull the chute, glide down and keep snowboarding. I’d ditch the chute first though. I also want to graduate in a decent frame of time. Oh! And I wanna be like Isaac Clarke without the scary monsters because he gets to be in space with a plasma cutter.

Do you have any advice for fellow geeks and Mines students?
Buy a lab coat. It’s a huge morale booster. Also, try making black bean brownies. They’re surprisingly easy to make. Also, we should start a squatter settlement on Kafadar for field session.